What Meaning Means to Me

My problem is that I want out from the empty, material existence. I want meaning, somtehing I can deeply believe and follow.

I don’t want “meaning doesn’t exist, so make your own” style, arbitrarily selected meaning. I don’t want to “pick something”, decide on what I will place in the place where meaning goes in my life.

I want something that feels deeply true. I want something that’s more like a new aspect of the worlde than the whole truth. The world is complex, truth is multifaceted. I want one aspect, one point of view that I can call my own and settle into.

I want glasses to see the world through. Or maybe I want new, better, more spiritual glasses to see the world through. I don’t want “buddhism but cogsci” or “philosophy but cogsci”. I want spirituality, I want philosophy that doesn’t need to justify itself by latching onto the flow state or whatever other cogsci fad concept. I want a life philosophy, an ethos.

Note: “personal myth” is a poor replacement for ethos. When you have ethos, everything is grander, because your life is organized around a coherent, meaningful worldview that shows you purpose. When you have that, you don’t need to call yourself wizard or write fables about your work experience or bullshit like that to make yourself feel like you matter.